-selfish

Real me; Real story :)

i will you about selfish people. even when they know they will hurt you they walk into your like to taste you because you are the type of being they don’t want to miss out on. you are too much shine to not be felt. so when they have gotten a good look at everything you have to offer. when they have taken you skin your hair and your secrets with them. when they realize how real this is. how much of a storm you are and it hits them.

that is when the cowardice sets in. that is when the person you thought they were is replaced by the sad reality of what they are. that is when they lose every fighting bone in their body and leave after saying you will find better than me.

you will stand there naked with half of them still hidden somewhere inside you and sob. asking them why they did it. why they forced you to love them when they have no intention of loving you back and they’ll say something along the lines of i just had to try. i had to give it a chance. it was you after all.

but that isn’t romantic. it isn’t sweet. the idea they were so engulfed by your existence they had to risk breaking it for the sake of knowing they weren’t the one missing out. your existence meant that little next to their curiosity of you.

that is the thing about selfish people. they gamble entire beings. entire souls to please their own. one second they are holding you like the world in their lap and the next they have belittled you to a mere picture. a moment. something of the past. one second. they swallow you up and whisper they want to spend the rest of their life with you. but the moment they sense fear. they are already halfway out the door. without having the nerve to let you go with grace. as if human heart means that little to them.

and after all this. after all of the taking. the nerve. isn’t it sad and funny how people have more guts these days to undress you with their fingers than they do to pick up the phone and call. apologize. for the loss. and this is how you lose her.

Collections

i don’t know what living a balanced life feels like
when i am sad
i don’t cry, i pour
when i am happy
i don’t smile, i glow
when i am angry
i don’t yell, i burn

the good thing about feeling in extremes is
when i love i give them wings
but perhaps that isn’t
such a good thing cause
they always tend to leave
and you should see me
when my heart is broken
i don’t grieve
i shatter

– Rupi Kaur, Milk and Honey

Real me; Real story :)

learn to forgive;
forgive the people that did you wrong, forgive people ignorance.
forgive yourself for making mistakes
forgive the people that do badly in the world.

learn to empathize:
feel their pain, get inside their minds and try to see why they’re doing what they’re doing.
it’s a beautiful thing to be able to understand and feel so deeply.

learn to accept sadness;
being sad or anxious or stressed doesn’t make you weak.
being able to expose your vulnerability is so powerful and beautiful.
it is so strong.
those who say sadness is a weakness are afraid of being hurt, afraid of being taken advantage of.
help them embrace sadness, for we need it to keep our world balanced.

learn to accept things out of your control and change things that are;
“everything works out in the end, and if it’s not working out, it’s not the end”

Notes For Myself ;, Real me; Real story :)

it’s the good kind of pain
it’s the pain you feel when you wake up at 3am
thinking about their voice and their twinkling laughter
it’s the pain you feel when you’re lying in bed
wanting them to play with your hair, your arms and legs aching to wrap around them
it’s the pain you feel in your head because you know you shouldn’t love them
but it’s the good kind of pain that you don’t want to let go
they’re worth hurting over

Love is not magic.

Notes For Myself ;, Real me; Real story :)

Love isn’t all butterflies and magic. It compromises, it’s arguments, full of ugly words and whispers. Love isn’t this huge beam of light that shines down on a couple for eternity. It is complicated and messy and takes a huge amount of work.

Love isn’t going to erase your insecurities. Love isn’t going to take away your depression or anxiety. Love isn’t going to erase your sadness or your problems with work and money and other relationships. We would like to believe it has the power to do this. We would love to believe it. But it’s not the real and honest truth.

Yes, love is something. But love is not everything.

If you start to see darkness overshadowing the light in your relationship, try not to panic. Don’t run right away. Don’t throw in the cards and give up. Ride the wave. Argue, scream and fight through it. Swim in it, not matter how strong the current gets. Only then is it going to be worth saving. Because you have to go through the bad stuff, to get to the good parts.

Love isn’t linear. It’s not something that will always grow upwards.
You have got to get to the difficult conversations. The one that makes you cry and hurt. The ones that make your partner hurt. You’ve got to see them for who they truly are, flaws and all. And they have to know the dark parts of you. The ones you never wanted them to see. You have got to have those heartbreaking arguments and go through hell and back.

Only then, will you be able to see if it is the kind of love that is true>
Only then, will you be able to see if it is the kind of love that you want to keep?
Only then, will you be able to see if this is the kind of love that you don’t want to ever give up on.

Love is a battlefield. It’s not supposed to always be heavenly. You’ve got to work for it. You;ve got to fight like hell for it.

Only then, will you know that yes, love is worth it? It’s worth all the hardships and the sacrifices. Love isn’t magic, but when you get it right and when you work hard enough on it. It’s pretty close to it.

Real me; Real story :)

Why do people talk bad about other people?

How people’s souls become so dirty and burdened that they have to hate and say such horrible words? This generation is drowning in its social media and it’s pressuring  us to feel certain ways about someone, just based off of what we see on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram and etc…
But do you actually know what you’re talking about?
Is it any of you business?
Who are you hurting?

In some situations, yes, you may be hurting the victims, but in my opinion, you’re hurting yourself. You’re burdening yourself and stressing yourself out by WORRYING ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE’S LIVES. 
You should not have that much free time and have such an ugly heart to hate someone and talk bad about someone.
There are so many things you could talk about that would actually be worth your while.
It’s such a waste of time. You have much more intelligence than that.
Try your best not to ne a hypocrite. Don’t turn around and say he/she is annoying but “you don’t care” because you obviously do.
Find something else to worry about. Work on yourself and figure your heart out. Not only does that person deserve better, but so do you.
Don’t burden yourself.

Don’t hate people!
Forgive and forget. Love unconditionally , and help people grow because you want to be a splendid person and friends.

SPREAD LOVE AND POSITIVITY !