Why did you tell me that you loved me, and walk away when i needed your love the most?
Because if I didnt tell you that I loved you, you wouldn’t be there when I needed you the most.
What about the time you told me that you loved my eyes?
The innocence in your eyes seduced me to speak. I was no longer able to tame the devil within me.
What about the time you told me that my voice was the most soothing to your soul?
Your voice was the calming white noise to my miserable black soul, and my misery craved your company.
What about the time you told me that you loved being around me and that it made you feel like you’ve never felt before?
You made me feel special and never judged me for the disaster that I was. You validated my existence.
What do I do now? I’m desperately in love with you and you don’t even care.
I can’t give you my heart when it disassembled like this. Just like the life took care of me, life will take care of you.
(Najwa Zebian & Spoken Silence)
*Narcissistic personality disorder is a mental disorder in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance, a deep need for admiration and a lack of empathy for others. But behind this mask of ultra-confidence lies a fragile self-esteem that’s vulnerable to the slightest criticism. And if talking generally and not medically, the highest level of selfishness one can exercise, to an extent where the cost and benefit rule applies only to the narcissist, getting what they need, using it to their benefit and throwing it away when no longer needed goes to the extent as far as bargaining ones heart to awake in love and when it fully blooms you leave them there hanging in the middle of no where.